martha

"And Martha was distracted with much serving..." -Luke 10:40

Man...sometimes (or a lot of the time), I feel like my name might as well be Martha. Constantly struggling with what it means to NOT distract myself with much serving and to learn what it means and what it looks like for me to be like Mary and sit at the feet of the Lord and just be with Him.

Definitely learned this lesson hard-core at the camping trip a couple of weekends ago...but still struggling with what to do now that I've been re-convicted of it (brought me back to Trinidad when my eyes were first opened to this struggle).



And thanks to some more external processing today, I think I realized that this ties in to one of the biggest idols in my life, which I think I was able to pinpoint a name for: the idol of maximizing my time. It seems counter-intuitive, since so many people struggle with complacency, laziness, apathy, etc...but I'm the opposite. And when I think about how I structure my time each day, it's not counter-intuitive at all.

Ahhh, Jesus, how I need You. Thank You that there truly is grace enough for us, and the whole human race.

pet peeves

Figured I might as well make a list for myself for reference (because I feel like I never know what they are when someone asks me randomly)
-when things aren't properly capitalized (like names on a sign-up list)
-grammar/spelling typos (like "your"/"you're", OHMYGOODNESS)
-when the microwave still has a timer left on it
-dirty dishes left in the sink
-rotten food left in the refrigerator
-when there is only a tiny bit of food left in a container...just eat it! lol


Random, I know.

those lyrics

are simultaneously giving me more hope and no hope. but the real question is, which is it?


most importantly, the truth is that I don't need to know the answer right now. and maybe not for a while. Jesus, fix my eyes on You

feeling

So I feel like recently, it's become easier and easier for me to get all teary and/or crying nearly every time I hear someone talking about Jesus/proclaiming the truth of the gospel and of the Word. It's not embarrassing, just...surprising? Because I don't remember it being this bad in the past. It's not the "crazy" emotional that seems to define a lot of girls, but I guess I'm just moved/touched more easily now...?

Maybe it's the F in me starting to develop more, haha. Oh, Myers-Briggs.

ergh

I hate it when I spend over two hours in front of this digital screen...and am not even that productive. ergh

scatterbrained

It's crazy (and scary?) how easily my mind reverts to this mode. But God is good.

Also, it's only day two, but even though yesterday felt like day one, today feels like week two...weird. Need to stay focused so I can sleep soon-ish!

last first day

Man, I can't believe senior year has already snuck up on me.


Anyhoo, this will be a short post because I'm tired and should get to bed...I didn't even end up being the least bit productive (in terms of schoolwork) tonight. But it's okay, because God had some other plans in mind :)

Highlights of the day--aka the Spirit reminding me of God's providence and guiding me to orchestrated appointments that could only have come from Him...so encouraging!
-seeing at least a few members show up to help with popsicle pass-out
-meeting a transfer student during my first class (which went really well! I like this professor)...hopefully I can reach out to her with the gospel! Couldn't tell if she was a believer
-meeting ANOTHER transfer student (from UCLA!) at popsicle pass-out, even though it was over when I got there...is God trying to tell me something about transfer students?...
-Jesus sustaining me through my second class (can't deny the fact that I was pretty bored the whole time)
-the Lord leading me to worship with BSM at the plinth (and allowing me to bring Selena along with me!)...which led to a crazy adventure over the next couple of hours, haha. We met Eugenia, an international grad student from China who's studying accounting here, and then we met a few more of her friends/classmates...and since they all wanted to go to the salsa night (which neither Selena nor I were keen on going to), we ended up going with them and dancing with them and chatting with them :D praise God!! Only He could have orchestrated this. Oh, the things we do for ministry...crazy but fun. It's all for Jesus, haha. Praying that He would open the doors to continue our new friendships with them and ultimately be able to share the good news with them! Praise God for allowing Selena to be with me. Yay for impromptu discipleship, haha XD

All this to follow an encouraging evening yesterday--prayer meeting had almost 20 people (including most leaders, but still), and three of them were new students (and white, too :P) who prayed with us! Ahhhhh. So so good. Thank You, Jesus.


Okay. I want to elaborate but I need to go to sleep. I wasn't even going to blog, but I figured I couldn't let all these encouragements slip out of my mind...my last first day of school at UTD was pretty memorable after all. Praise God for reminding me of His faithfulness and that He is moving on this campus.
Lord, continue to release Your power and presence all over this campus! And please, continue to bring me along for the ride. hehe

emails

It amazes me how much time I can/will spend on these electronic letters. Oh, my poor eyes...and so many boxes to unpack. Aiya

not ready

Too much stuff going on!...
lack of sleep
another interview
only a few days left in Houston and planning how to best use that time (most of it isn't even free any more)
not as excited as I was expecting to be? to go back to Dallas. At least not yet
a bit worried about IV and lack of planning up to this point...need to PRAY PRAY PRAY
random errands to do/things to look up...where has the time gone


I'm going to miss (this) summer. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

poorly kept

it's making me think about it so much more. sigh...need to stop dwelling on such silly issues. as in stop sharing about it with so many people/hoping for something to happen?

ms notes to self

tt P: -cool new facilities! esp simlife (good prep for boards) -cheap living -no rush hour (but prob need a car) or bad parts of town, really -really nice people, very friendly and supportive atmosphere -cmda (?), a fellowship there -high board passing rates -1/2 day class -block schedule -student-run free clinic; clinical experience starting from 1st year (also early clinical experience class) -international health elective! C: -it's far. and flat. -not sure what churches are in the area -having to possibly switch locations after the first half realistically, not my top choice, but i'd be happy going there ep P: -spanish in the curriculum -3- or 4-week immersion experience before actual classes -cool curriculum--organ-based, start seeing SPs in the first week -small class size (cap at 100) -outdoorsy stuff -citlally! -they buy you a laptop o.o C: -FAR away. pretty small town -couldn't tell how happy the students were there? -not sure about churches/fellowships -starts about a month earlier in 1st year -no housing that close to campus mb P: -very laid back/chill (EVERYONE says that) -PBL small groups -free clinic, lots of IM sports -pretty cheap (tuition, fees, housing) -close to htown (only an hour) -good step scores (they provide you with QBs for step 1) -tracks! esp global health (peru, ecuador, kenya) -1/2 day classes C: -seems like a lot of partying, potentially? -hurricane potential/living on an island -big class size -big campus/lots of buildings -unsure about church/fellowship sa P: -seems to have happy students -new curriculum--finish 2nd year in february, extra time for electives/to study -can do rotations in harlingen (in the valley), no residents! only you and the doctor -sa is a cool city C: -no on campus housing 1.What does their match list look like? Do the majority of them stay at that place or do they leave? Do they go out of TX? The match list is pretty indicative of everything below. 1b. Clinical training. It deserves its own subheading. 2. Step 1 scores? 3. Location, location, location. 4. Curriculum? P/F? Block schedule? Lectures in the afternoon? Whatever suits you the best. 5. Extras: electives, research, foreign study. 6. Classmate/prof personality.

(road)trippin'

Excited for our first-ever family road trip tomorrow! To North Michigan, aka Mackinaw City and Island. Whoo!

colorado

So heartbreaking to have a legacy of shootings--Columbine in '99 and now the shootings at Aurora after last night :(

sherlock

Mmmm. Been loving watching this new show with Michelle. I think I could say I'm addicted? Haha. Gotta love him/the show in general. The writers are so brilliant! I'm in awe of their intellect and creativity, haha.

Although I don't think I can say I'd actually want to meet this guy in real life (other than to see what he can deduce about me from first meeting me). He's so cold, so detached, really "married to his work", as he says.
His lack of tact reminds me of a bit of Bones, but to the extreme. Lol.

humbled

That's how I feel--in this particular instance (for there are many), regarding my parents and the post I wrote yesterday about them. I realize their words stung (and still sting), but after the fact, I am still very aware that they love me very much and that they do see more than just those issues when they look at me. I'm being reminded, even last night and today, of how much I need their help and cherish their care.


Oh, man...immature, irrational, ungrateful. That would be me right there. So much sanctification to be done.

But I'm so thankful that I have the one and only perfect Teacher gently guiding me, every step of the way :)

questions to chew on

from none other than my amazing discipler :) thank you!

Consider this. I mean, really think about it.

"Do I understand my adoption? Do I value it? Do I daily remind myself of my privilege as a child of God? Have I sought full assurance of my adoption? Do I daily dwell on the love of God to me? Do I treat God as my Father in heaven, loving, honoring, and obeying Him, seeking and welcoming His fellowship, and trying in everything to please Him, as a human parent would want his child to do?
Do I think of Jesus Christ, my Savior and my Lord, as my brother too, bearing to me not only a divine authority but also a divine-human sympathy? Do I think daily how close He is to me, how completely He understands me, and how much, as my kinsman-redeemer, He cares for me?
Have I learned to hate the things that displease my Father? Am I sensitive to the evil things to which He is sensitive? Do I make a point of avoiding them, lest I grieve Him?
Do I look forward daily to that great family occasion when the children of God will finally gather before the throne of God, their Father, and of the Lamb, their brother and their Lord? Have I felt the thrill of this hope? Do I love my Christian brothers and sisters with whom I live day by day, in a way that I shall not be ashamed of when I think back over it? Am I proud of my Father and of His family, to which by His grace I belong? Does the family likeness appear in me? If not, why not?

God humble us; God instruct us; God make us His own true children."

-J.I. Packer

Amen. Conviction for sure.

introspection

(another post saved a few days before I left but never actually written...typical, haha)

I...suck at it. I don't know if it's because I'm such an extrovert, or I'm too lazy, or I'm just very out of touch with my own self because I frankly don't care too much. That sounds terrible, but I think those are all true.
I don't know what about introspection is so difficult for me. Maybe I just don't know how to do it for myself. Maybe there's no one asking me those hard questions that I love to ask to other people, and I'm not willing or able to ask them to myself. (Would that be weird?)
I remember wondering/thinking/hoping that maybe on my trip, I would be able to get better at introspection or at least grow to be a bit more introspective. It's funny, because I don't feel like I really did, despite the amount of group processing activities that we did. Is it that obvious of a trait? I remember during my two-on-one with my group leaders, they mentioned that in terms of physical age, I was one of the oldest members; in terms of spiritual age (and maturity in general), I was well beyond my age; but when it came to emotional maturity--which I would probably describe as level of introspection, or something like that--they mentioned that I seemed a bit underdeveloped. I had never heard it put that way, but I couldn't agree more.

Hmmm. I wonder if that will change.

blogging flood (and drought)

I don't know why I do this. I always mean to blog and then never get around to it, and then when I do...it's like opening the floodgates.

But not really. Because after a few, it'll stop, and then it'll be another several-month drought. Hopefully not, but probably so.

staff work

So I saved this draft in early February (an empty post, just the title) without ever writing one.
Now I don't know where I am on this issue. I still would love to intern with IV for a year as a staff worker, would love to pour my time into students without the burden of classes...but can I? Will I be able to?
God, I'm sorry for not seeking You more on this issue. I know I still need to. I know I'm worried about the obstacle of fundraising that rears up in my mind but even more so, the permission of my parents...which, at this moment, seems nil. Please open the doors if this is what You are inviting me to do next year. And if not...please close every door, even my desire to do this.
Maybe I'm not feeling the desire to do so as much because I'm so far removed from IV through being on summer vacation, being out of state, etc. Or maybe this is God slowly removing that desire. I can't tell! Sigh. Need to keep praying.

8:28

"Since I love God and am fitting into His plans, I will, by faith, count all things as working together for my good today and will thank God and praise Him in obedience to His command. I will encourage others to do the same, to trust and obey God as an expression of the supernatural life." -Romans 8:28

Thank you for sharing this today :) I really needed it.

difficult

Never thought that's how being home would feel.
It reminded me this morning of our last night at Rec Week, when one of the prayer corners was to lift up those for whom going home was a hard thing, even an undesirable thing.
I know they love me, I know they care. Haha, I even encouraged a friend to be patient with her parents when she put up a status sharing how frustrated she felt after two straight years of lecturing. I just...I wish there could be more understanding between parents and their children. Especially Asian ones. When all my dad talks about is my medical school applications (particularly interviews, now) and my mom just keeps referencing ways that I can lose weight, multiple times in the day...is that all they see in me?
It's getting to a point where I feel like it's actually tearing me down inside. It's destructive. I don't want to not be here, I don't want to be angry or cry or yell, but I'm struggling. A lot.

So thankful for my sister being here with me. Prayers would be appreciated. Trying to cling to the promises of the Lord, to His light and love in this dark moment for me (and yes, I know this can hardly be deemed "dark" in light of most people's struggles...sorry).
This is a pretty depressing post. Maybe I'll delete it later.

overwhelm

There are way too many blog(post)s to catch up on...sigh. Also, why can I not seem to go to bed before it is ridiculously late? It's not jetlag...erg.

joyful

It's been a wonderful week and a half since I took my MCAT. Wonderful and hectic--meeting up with people back to back, pretty much every day (except for today). Sleeping in different places, living out of a sleeping bag and a backpack. Catching up with so many brothers and sisters. Cramming my planner with people, having to rearrange constantly (thanks for reminding me who's really in control, God!), enjoying every minute of it.


Man, I'm such an extrovert.

FANZ

FANZ=Fiji, Australia, and New Zealand.

Which is where I'll be for the next 12 weeks. Whoaaaaaaaa!

Check it out--www.carpediemeducation.org/blog/category/hongi-fiji-australia-new-zealand/
and maybe...banana-travels.blogspot.com

birthday celebration

http://mycharitywater.org/p/campaign?campaign_id=23289&amt=21

^ what I'm doing for my 21st birthday. Hehe :)

shift

Their eyes were closed. Everyone's eyes were closed. Casually, without much thought, his arm draped around her shoulder instead of looping through her arm. Blame it on the textbook she was holding? Sure. She felt the warmth of his gesture, though only in the literal sense.

Two years ago, she would have immediately leaned into the embrace. Her heart would have began to thump, the butterflies in her stomach awaken. She would have savored the moment, wanting it to last.

But it has been two years. Instead of moving in, she stood there, unfazed by his touch, thankful that such was the case. That in some ways, things had changed.



Interesting. Hmmmm

prone

prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
prone to leave the God I love
He to rescue me from danger
interposed His precious blood


<3

too much...

Too much stuff to think about and do. Aiyaaaa...yes, I am glad and thankful to be done with my MCAT, and I know I should be a lot more free (and I am, from studying at least), but...sigh. I feel like the more free time I'm given, the less I actually give myself. Still a few people to meet up with, personal statement to revise, sleep and rest to catch up on, things to buy and return and pack, summer plans to figure out (!)...overload. :(
Jesus, help me sort through everything. I know it doesn't have to be this complicated.

impatience

...can't wait until 7 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 28th! And then hopefully this dumb MCAT ridiculousness will be over.
I've got a few test-taking buddies in other cities, so I'll be praying for all of us. :) Let's do this!

sing a new song!

"Taste and See (Psalm 34)"
Verse
I will bless the Lord at all times
My mouth will sing of His praise
He heard me, He delivered me
so I will
Magnify, magnify His name!

Chorus
Taste and see that the Lord is good, that He is good (x2)
Those who look to Him are radiant
and they will never be ashamed
so I make my boast in the Lord!

Verse
Chorus

Bridge
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and He saves the crushed in spirit (x4)

Chorus


also...gooood song

moms

Moms are awesome. Straight up.

There's no doubt about it.


And in my life, I've been blessed to have not one, but several. I know it's nowhere near Mother's Day, but I just feel like sharing...
Of course, there's my real mommy. No one can replace her. She's one of the strongest and most able women I know. She's always explained everything to me; none of that "because I told you so" crap. She's good at English. She knows and can keep track of all my friends. She's really hard to give gifts to. She hates the dentist as much as I do. I admire her so much. I just wish she knew Jesus...!
There's the one I've had since I was young, the only other one who gets to be called "Mommy". The one who has always showered my sister and me with jewelry to indulge her girly gift-giving side, since she never had daughters of her own. She's so loving, so hospitable, so mom-like. This is what a godmother looks like, I guess.
There's the one I had whenever I went to my friend's house/to church, since I was a lone orphan at church. No parents, no sister...I was an honorary family member. I slept over at their house more than any other house outside of my own. She always fed me a lot, too.
There's the one I had when I lived in my first homestay ever, in Argentina. She was really kind and cared for me, but not in an overbearing way. She helped me so much with my Spanish, let me help out in the shop, woke me up on my first day of classes (when I overslept!), yelled at me for baking when she wasn't in the house, told me to grab a scarf on my way out...hehe.
And then there's the one that I have right now. So blessed by the hospitality and warmth and deliciousness I'm receiving day in and day out as I study for my MCAT and prepare to go abroad. Even more blessed that she's also a sister in Christ. Blessed that I can practice Chinese with her.


Man...I got some intense role models to look up to. Thank You, Jesus :)

drift

What happened?


When, how, why did things get to where they are now? I miss her. I miss being silly and goofy and associated with her. I feel so out of touch, and sometimes it's hard to believe we're at the same campus still. How did this happen in just a year? Was it really because we roomed together?
Reading through an old email, where she shared something personal with me and then told me how much she wished I were back in town so we could laugh and talk and sleepover and eat late into the night...it stung.

I know people say that your friends will change in college, and to let them. I just don't want it to be her. Not us.


Jesus, I'm sorry for messing things up somewhere along the line (which I'm pretty sure I did, looking back). Restore this friendship, if You will. I've seen you transform and restore friendships that I never thought could be repaired. Maybe this one, too?

mental stimulation

One form of which is doing a Bible study in Chinese. My first time trying it, haha. Definitely a challenge, but a lot of fun, too. Praise God that He is multicultural/ethnic/lingual!

parentals.

So I got to share the gospel with my parents (well, mostly my mom) again over winter break, and, as expected, it was hard. It's been a while (a few years now?), and after the last time, I think my sister and I had decided that in this season, we were just called to be witnesses to our parents through honoring them and showing them the love of Jesus through our actions and words (and of course to keep praying for them!). But for some reason, a few nights after I was up in Michigan, I was about to fall asleep when I was hit with the urge (from the Holy Spirit, I guess) to share the gospel again with my parents. I don't know where it came from, but the feeling of urgency was so strong that it was pretty unmistakable, and I couldn't really say no to it, either.

The next morning, after sharing with some friends and asking for their prayers, I kept thinking in my head about how to approach the subject during lunch or dinner. Even when I had decided, it was hard. We were sitting there eating lunch, and there was a clear lull/break in the conversation, which was pretty much my cue...and I still hesitated. I hadn't felt that nervous in a long time about saying anything to anyone, but my words felt like they were sliding back down my throat. Finally, I just started by asking my parents about where they thought all their recent blessings/good happenings had come from....which eventually got steered to a spiritual conversation, but in the end, it pretty much looked the same as before--me crying and my mom not really seeing the need for Jesus (and my dad had left; my tears probably made him uncomfortable, lol >.<). Seriously, I don't get emotional sharing the gospel with anyone else...I guess it just hits so close to home, seeing their clear contentment with where they are now, Jesus-less. It's just hard.

But I won't stop praying. And I'm not just praying for them, but also the non-believing parents/families of some of my close friends.


What's more awesome (and cheerful/encouraging, probably) is that in the past few days, God has really encouraged me with hope through testimonies of a couple of other Asian parents/families. A few days ago, one of our IV leaders shared about his winter break in Taiwan and how God really opened doors for him to share the gospel with both his dad and his older sister (both non-believers)--so amazing! I almost teared up hearing his story, haha. Going to keep praying for them to accept Jesus, too. And just last night, at a friend's house party dinner for Chinese New Year, we ended the night by sharing some testimonies. My friend's dad ended up taking most of the time (lol), but he shared his testimony in pretty great detail. Overall, it was really encouraging just seeing how he went from seeking knowledge in Buddhism to challenging Christianity to repenting and receiving Jesus as His Savior. God is constantly moving and at work--praise Him for that! :)

processing

Sometimes (like now?), I kinda wish I was more of an internal processor. That I didn't need to talk things out with close friends/people in general to sort through my thoughts. That I didn't have to share with others just to really share my thoughts and emotions on what I'm going through with myself. That I would be satisfied with just a pen and paper or with frequent updates of this blog.





...or do I?

is it bad..

...that sometimes I wish God kept our lives a little more normal and thus easier to keep up with? I feel like my friends are always going through crazy life changes and there's always too much to be updated on. Geez, I can't imagine what it'll be like coming back from my 3-month long trip, away from all my friends >.<
And yet, as I say this, I realize how silly and selfish it is to ask for that. Living for God each and every day truly is a worthy and rewarding adventure! As crazy and constantly changing as it can be. In the ups and especially in the downs, He is glorified, and that is awesome. He is the Maker of the universe and infinitely creative and always surprising us with more, if we're willing to accept His offer.
It's like when Aladdin asks Jasmine, "Do you trust me?" Do we trust Him? Do I trust Him? Saying yes is scary; it's getting my feet swept away from under me as I embark on something even better than a magic carpet ride. This is God, Creator of all things, who is at the steering wheel.
Who am I to complain, just because my brain can't keep up with what He's doing in the lives of all my friends?

Thank You, Jesus, that I'm not the one in control.



(is it also bad that I'm blogging instead of studying for my MCAT...sigh)

carrying

"Carrying too much stuff, as always, Anna."

A simple remark--but how true is it? Is it just as pertains to physical items (which usually seems to be the case), or am I holding on to more baggage internally? Never really thought too much about it until Epic Anthology (theme of freedom) and my friend's comment a couple of days ago.
Jesus, please show me what I'm still holding on to and not giving up to You.

mmmmm

I wish I had more time (and desire) to blog more. There's always a balance to maintain, isn't there? Balancing the (mostly) extroverted and (not so much) introverted parts of myself. Living and reflecting. Pouring into others and being poured into.


Sometimes I wish I had a really fine mesh net that could catch all the thoughts that flit around in my mind. What happens to all the ones that break free and fly away forever?

I don't know where I'm going with this...probably just slight delirium from waking up at 7 a.m. on a Friday. I'll look back at this later and laugh at it...or just delete it.


Your presence is all that I'm longing for

overload.

onething 2011
Anthology 2012
roommate catch-up (and spiritual convo!)
personal statement drafts
MCAT studying
FANZ prep
lack of sleep

...

Feels like there's too much stuff to think about/sort through right now, yet still so many praises to be given to God :)
Jesus, take the wheel, please. I trust in You and You alone.

more reminders.

It's not just about not burning out, but about being built up.


Just like in a similar way, it's not just about avoiding death, but about choosing life and life in the best and truest form--in Jesus Christ.


Vision statement for my life: He must become greater, and I must become less. (John 3:30)





Thank You for giving me these reminders through brothers and sisters recently :)

accidents

Man, keyboards are totally made for two hands, not just one. Can't believe my knife slipped and I cut my finger...hope it isn't deeper than I think.

mcat

God, please remind me why I am studying for this difficult, 5.5 hour test that will play such a big role in my medical school applications. Please grant me Your supernatural strength and focus and diligence, that I would not give into temptations and distractions in the next three weeks. The first couple of weeks, I was able to read through so much material, but now that it comes to more active studying, I feel my resolve faltering. Please help me. Help me to glorify You even as I study, study, study. I can't do this without You.

no compromises.

No more compromises with darkness.


That's one of the things I took away from onething (which I will blog about...later!). And yet it is just so easy to fall back into sin, perhaps when I'm least expecting it (or maybe because I just don't want to expect it). Praise God for convicting me (again...) of the need to be careful, to keep my feet from swerving to the left or right, from the path He is setting before me. (It's no accident that I've been reading Proverbs 6 and 7 these past couple of days.)

Argh. It's a daily need for Jesus to save me from myself...to be disciplined in the Lord and not be complacent >.< whether it's purity, MCAT studying, or loving those who make it really hard to do so.


Jesus, I don't want to keep disobeying You. Help me to look to You, so that all lesser things and earthly desires fade away, and my will is aligned with Your will.

overjoyed.

What does it mean to be overjoyed, to truly be filled with the joy of the Lord so that it overflows and is apparent in a way that will lead others to glorify God?

I remember sometime in November, when I was just on the Internet in my room with my door open, and only one of my other roommates was in the apartment. She was talking on the phone, and all of a sudden, when she hung up, she ran to my doorway and started jumping up and down and screaming, "I got into UT Law! I got into UT Law!" Actually, she was screaming so quickly that I couldn't understand her for a few seconds. I gave her a smile and a hug, and then she proceeded to run around outside, screaming with joy (I could hear her from inside my room). I've never seen her (or anyone, perhaps) that happy. She started calling her family and close friends and screaming the good news to them over phone airwaves.
It was pretty hard to not be in a good mood afterwards. I was really happy for her! It just made me think, though...if she can be so happy over something so earthly/fleshly, over someone telling her that she was good enough to get into a school, how much more should we be overjoyed about the joy of our salvation, the truth of the gospel, and desire to share the good news with others? Man, pretty convicting.



Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! Amen.

lessons from yoga.

So I took yoga as a 1-hour class this past semester, and it was pretty fun, considering it was my first exposure/experience with yoga, ever. I realized how flexible and inflexible I can be, and the most intense thing I got to do was an elbow stand and a backbend (!). Pretty crazy. Anyway, sometimes our teacher would say things that struck me immediately in terms of how they apply to my spiritual walk. I don't think he's a Christian, but who knows? God still spoke to me through him:

1. do vs. be--Yoga is not just about doing poses, but also about just simply "be"-ing. He would have this corny joke: "If all you do is 'do' poses, then you'll just be a pile of 'doo-doo', so you need a combination of 'do' and 'be', so you can have a nice 'doo-be-doo-be-doo'."
Sounds silly, but it's so true. Especially in my time with Jesus...it's not just about doing. There's so much joy in just sitting at His feet and being with Him. As a type-A, logistics-loving, plan-making person, I need to constantly remind myself not to be a Martha (Luke 10:38-42).

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight, I sat in his shadow, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. "
-Song of Solomon 2:3

2. consistency--Yoga, according to our teacher, is all about consistency. You can start small--5 minutes a day, for example--but just because you do 30 minutes one day, it doesn't mean you can skip the next few days. You still have to do 5 minutes the next day.
Ahh, so true. This really struck my heart because I've had so many struggles in the past with consistency in my daily quiet times, and it's so easy for me to get myself down when I miss one day, then two, then three. Such a comfort to know that Jesus is always waiting there for me with open arms, and He longs to just spend time with me. What else can captivate my heart like that?

3. criticism--In our class, our teacher would sometimes call out the mistakes of one certain guy in the front, and he would get frustrated easily. But, our teacher reminded us, his criticisms of that one guy would benefit the whole class because we could all see what he was doing wrong and correct the mistake in ourselves (since we were probably making the same ones).
Just a reminder to not despise the Lord's discipline, for He disciplines those whom He loves, like a father who disciplines his child for his own good! (Proverbs 3:11-12)



Guess I got to learn more than just how to stretch :)

prayer request

So frustrating to see a friend struggle because events and people in her past have told her that she is worthless, un-lovable, a doormat. She just really needs Jesus to shine the truth of His love into her life...it's painful to see her selfless to a point where it's self-destructive, not because she wants to show love to others, but because she is living under obligation to serve everyone around her, except herself. Jesus, please help her. Speak true life into her spirit, please.

twenty twelve.

...I can't believe it's already 2012!


So, so so so so so much in my heart and mind from onething 2011. But there is one thing (among many) for sure--I'm so glad God brought me there this year (praise Him for His sovereignty!).
Pray for me as I process through it all with the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit tomorrow!