staff work

So I saved this draft in early February (an empty post, just the title) without ever writing one.
Now I don't know where I am on this issue. I still would love to intern with IV for a year as a staff worker, would love to pour my time into students without the burden of classes...but can I? Will I be able to?
God, I'm sorry for not seeking You more on this issue. I know I still need to. I know I'm worried about the obstacle of fundraising that rears up in my mind but even more so, the permission of my parents...which, at this moment, seems nil. Please open the doors if this is what You are inviting me to do next year. And if not...please close every door, even my desire to do this.
Maybe I'm not feeling the desire to do so as much because I'm so far removed from IV through being on summer vacation, being out of state, etc. Or maybe this is God slowly removing that desire. I can't tell! Sigh. Need to keep praying.