introspection

(another post saved a few days before I left but never actually written...typical, haha)

I...suck at it. I don't know if it's because I'm such an extrovert, or I'm too lazy, or I'm just very out of touch with my own self because I frankly don't care too much. That sounds terrible, but I think those are all true.
I don't know what about introspection is so difficult for me. Maybe I just don't know how to do it for myself. Maybe there's no one asking me those hard questions that I love to ask to other people, and I'm not willing or able to ask them to myself. (Would that be weird?)
I remember wondering/thinking/hoping that maybe on my trip, I would be able to get better at introspection or at least grow to be a bit more introspective. It's funny, because I don't feel like I really did, despite the amount of group processing activities that we did. Is it that obvious of a trait? I remember during my two-on-one with my group leaders, they mentioned that in terms of physical age, I was one of the oldest members; in terms of spiritual age (and maturity in general), I was well beyond my age; but when it came to emotional maturity--which I would probably describe as level of introspection, or something like that--they mentioned that I seemed a bit underdeveloped. I had never heard it put that way, but I couldn't agree more.

Hmmm. I wonder if that will change.