(secular) student orgs.

I guess I'd never thought too much about the difference between secular student orgs and fellowships like IV, especially after getting to college. Maybe that's because I never really joined any orgs other than IV, except for AED...but that's just like pre-health NHS in its size and lack of intimacy.
Last week, I went to VSA's first meeting, and today, I went to CSA's first meeting. Lots of Asians, (pizza and) egg rolls, semi-fun icebreakers. Not that great or attractive. Plus, you have to pay dues to join these clubs! Call me dumb, but in my mind, that concept harks back to my Bellaire days. What makes people want to join these clubs? I guess just the fact that they have some volunteer events, some social events, and a fundraiser or two. Just people wanting to meet other people with similar interests. The more I type, the more I feel the likelihood rising that these thoughts sound totally inane.
I don't know--after knowing and living the community that is IV (or any true fellowship on campus), I feel like these clubs just don't quite make the cut...at least not for me. There's only so much fun, so much depth that can be reached in a friendship, without Jesus. Jesus makes the difference. And I think for the first time, I'm seeing that in a new light--student orgs.

I'm not sure what to make of these thoughts...just interesting. We may not be nearly as tight as Acts 2 community, but communities with no Jesus really seem so...hollow. So empty. A firsthand look at what is meant by the term "God-shaped hole". God, help me to shine Your light on this campus to everyone I interact with.



You know, it's funny--I feel like all this hopping around (first churches, and now student orgs) is something (that should be) more characteristic of freshman year. I specifically told myself I would cut down on my student life activities this semester to study for my MCAT, yet more than ever before, I'm going to more interest meetings for clubs that I've never been to. Is God directing me otherwise, or am I just losing self-discipline all of a sudden?

weary.

Man, I am exhausted. Having to wait to move in, finally setting up my bed last night, sleeping late and waking up early, spending hours in the hot sun...and most importantly, neglecting my quiet times this week. It's piling up, and I am tired. I'm weary.

I messed up. Without fully realizing it, I flaked on a friend (due to my tiredness) and it set her off. Especially since I know her and how sensitive she is to these things, I should have known better. But I know God is using this for my good and for her good--to teach me discipline in keeping commitments that I make, and to teach her more patience, for He is always, always so patient with us.


Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

And all I can say in response is, thank You. thank You a million times over. please keep reminding me how much i need to rest in You and You alone.

You and You alone awake my soul, awake my soul to sing

lightbulb moment.

I don't know if I've ever really been able to relate when people talk about having lightbulb moments, but I may have had one this morning, thanks to God (as always, haha). We were having a short retreat of silence at our fall leadership retreat to start off the morning, and I ended up flipping to Isaiah 53. I'm not sure why it came to mind, but I had been meaning to read it since Kara had mentioned it to me last Sunday when she was talking about Tim Keller's True and Better video (worth watching if you didn't click on it in my previous post!).
As I read through the passage, I realized that I'd never read the whole thing--I was only familiar with parts of it (verse 5, via Third Day's song). As I read the chapter, my eyes almost filled with tears. Man, Jesus really is so worthy. Look at what He did for you and me!


1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

4 Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.


Man...that just leaves me speechless. I am in awe and gratitude, forever.

But afterwards, as we were rounding up everyone to regroup, the light bulb went off. This whole past week (starting Sunday with Pastor Jason Tarn's messages, I guess), God has been constantly reminding me of His love for me through His Son, through messages, songs, conversations, and ultimately His pure Word...essentially, He was renewing me in and through Christ. And guess what? That's the first part of our vision for this year :) Renewed by Christ, sent out to love.

:)

God, You are so, so good. Please, keep me within Your will every day, at all times, and keep me from straying. Keep my eyes on You as I make plans, meet new people, and build relationships. Let them all--every single one of them--be solely for Your glory.

refreshed by Your love.

Jesus, thank You for reminding me of how much You love me these past few days. It's just been so overwhelming in the best way possible. From a kids' storybook Bible to a spontaneous jam session, You've been continuously filling me up in preparation for going back to UTD. Please don't let me forget or forsake this love that You're re-growing in my heart for You. There really is no one else for me, none but Jesus.


This is one of the most awesome things I've ever seen. Makes me tear up.

blissfully ignorant.

The only thing I've really been able to retain for mental records while shadowing is how my doctor treats her patients--she is so kind and gentle and really a great model for patient interaction. But when all the gynecology/oncology terms start flying around, it's hard not to tune them out, since I'm pretty sure I have very little idea of what they're saying.

...what scares me just a little is knowing that very soon, I'll have to know all those terms. I'll have to listen and pay attention and come up with diagnoses and treatments based on the patient's data. Will I know what I need to know by then? All the information seems so overwhelming...and I need to stop studying for classes just to pass the tests. This is real, and it can save or not save someone's life. I just trust and pray that I'll be ready when the time comes.


Eep?

pet peeve.

After this weekend, I think I realized that one of my pet peeves--since I could never think of something that annoys me when asked about it--is when people follow or copy me when there is no need to do so. It's a little hard to explain without example, but I guess to try and clarify, it bugs me when someone is just following me and doing everything I'm doing without really making their own decisions (and this is in terms of really small things, too). I guess I should be flattered? Once a friend tried to justify it by quipping, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery." But it just gets annoying to me, I guess.

[p11] songs

Mmm. I love listening to the Passion 2011 CD. Each song is so good, brings back good memories, and is comforting to me in the midst of my frustration and lack of fellowship. Praise God for music :)

...and then it reminds me of the three posts I have yet to write to finish recording that weekend. lol